The DEATH STAR PROJECT MANAGER, MOFF JERJERROD (don't bother to remember his name), a tall, confident technocrat, strides through the assembled designers and developers to the base of the shuttle ramp. The team snap to attention; many are uneasy about the new arrival. But the PM stands arrogantly tall.

 

The exit hatch of the shuttle opens with a WHOOSH, revealing only darkness. Then, heavy FOOTSTEPS AND MECHANICAL BREATHING. From this black void appears DARTH VADER, LORD OF THE STAKEHOLDERS. Vader looks over the assemblage as he walks down the ramp.

 

JERJERROD

Lord Vader, this is an unexpected pleasure. We're honoured by your presence.

 

VADER

You may dispense with the pleasantries. I'm here to put you back on schedule.

 

The PM turns ashen and begins to shake.

 

JERJERROD

I assure you, Lord Vader, my men are working as fast as they can.

 

VADER

Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate them.

 

JERJERROD

I tell you, this station will be operational as planned.

 

VADER

The Project Sponsor does not share your optimistic appraisal of the situation.

 

JERJERROD

But he asks the impossible. I need more developers.

 

VADER

Then perhaps you can tell him when he arrives.

 

JERJERROD (aghast)

The Project Sponsor's coming here?

 

VADER

That is correct. And he is most displeased with your apparent lack of progress.

 

JERJERROD

We shall double our efforts.

 

VADER

I hope so, for your sake. The Project Sponsor is not as forgiving as I am.

 

In the end Vader gets the station fully armed and operational even if the Death Star’s superstructure isn’t fully completed. Being a Jedi at heart (he still has some good in him), he’s properly grasped the idea of the Minimum Viable Product: the key feature the Death Star needs for deployment is a fully functioning planet destroying laser beam. The rest can wait.

 

The PM on the other hand, is all about finishing off the whole battle station before it’s ready for deployment – he even asks for more man power! He clearly hasn’t read Fred Brook’s seminal “The Mythical Man Month”. 

 

Anyway, barring those pesky Ewoks, the Empire would have won the day - but as Yoda’s observed “Impossible to see, the future is”, even for evil Sith Emperors.

 

You can find more of  this kind of nonsense @agilestarwars